Entry #53 - August 30, 2005

Our players arrived on campus last week and it sure was nice to see them. We have thirteen new faces that seem to be adjusting well to their new surroundings, and it is always special to see our returning players back on campus after a long summer. Each year in college when an athlete returns to start the new school year, he returns more mature and more comfortable than the year before. Our players are a tight knit bunch and there is always alot of excitement when they are all together.

The first week of college is always very hectic, especially for our new players. Finding your classes, adjusting to a new atmosphere, learning the ins and outs of college and for our freshmen, being away from home for the first time is always difficult. I have also learned from experience that it is sometimes more difficult on the parents than it is on the players when it comes to being away from home for the first time.

My sister, Robyn has a son who also just left for college to run track. I also have a brother, Scott that also sent his daughter to college for the first time last week. I was actually in Atlanta the week of my nephew’s departure and my sister was having a difficult time with him being away from home. I can’t relate to this firsthand because my oldest child is only six years old, but I know it must be tough, especially if it is your first child or your only child. Every year, at every college in the world, homesickness and parents missing their children occurs. Is there a cure for this? I really don’t think there is. As a parent I don’t think the feeling of wanting your children at home ever goes away, but one day, for all children who are homesick, the feeling will eventually go away. I remember vividly how extremely homesick I was when I left for college for the first time, but eventually it went away. How long does it take; two days, two weeks, two months, two years to get over this? It varies for each individual. Although “homesickness” will eventually pass for everyone, I know for me and for most, the joy, excitement and anticipation I get when I go back home to see my parents and family will always remain very strong.

Last Thursday evening we had our first team meeting. During this meeting we cover the essentials but most of the time is spent talking about the standards we expect our players to maintain. A few examples of these are being well mannered and clean-cut, being on time, being successful in the classroom, being a positive role model, etc. For almost twenty years as either a player or coach I have been in these opening meetings of the school year. As a coach, I have always looked back on my notes from the previous years for review. Throughout the summer I am always reading, researching and picking the brains of other coaches looking for new ideas or different approaches to get my ideas across to our players. In these meetings I have made adjustments from time to time, but to be honest, my outline and notes from this meeting have not really changed much since I’ve been in coaching. I have tweaked and adjusted a few things but for the most part, the standards I set for my players in 1996 are still the same in 2005. The players I coached in the late nineties were held to the same standard as our players this year. I think it is funny, but my players who I coached in my early years at LMU and at ETSU always get on me at our alumni games about how the standards have softened since they played.

I am a firm believer that change is good. A lot of coaches, especially ones that are successful are scared of change. I often go by the mantra, “If isn’t broke, then don’t try to fix it.” But whether we like it or not, times do change. Things are different in society than they were 20, 30, 40 or 50 years ago. The ironic thing is that as these times change, the kids you coach really don’t. Young men still come in all shapes and sizes; some with good attitudes, some with poor attitudes, some respect authority some don’t, some like to work hard, some are lazy, some are serious about their schoolwork, some hate to study, some are good teammates, some are selfish, some can play at this level, some can’t, and the list goes on and on. Kids are pretty much the same nowadays as they were twenty years ago. As I was preparing for this year’s meeting I was going through some old notes and I found an old file and in it were notes that one of my former coaches had given our team during our first meeting that season. This handout is from 1988. I thought it was interesting. It was titled:

To the High School/College Graduate – Things You Did Not Learn in School

1.Life is not fair – get used to it.
2. The world won’t care about your self esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
3. You will not make $40, 000 a year right out of school. You won’t be vice president with a phone in your car until you earn both.
4. If you think your coach or professor is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping – they called it opportunity.
6. If you screw up, it’s not your parents’ fault so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills; cleaning your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are – so before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
8. Your school may have done away with winners or losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades. They will give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
9. Life is not divided into semesters, you don’t get summers off, and very few employees are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
10. Television is not real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you will end up working for nerds.
12. Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. And ditto for purple hair and pierced body parts.
13. Living fast and dying young is romantic, until you see one of your peers at room temperature.
14. Get up when you fall down.

As our coach went through these with us, I remember thinking how cool it would be to have a phone in your car. Times sure do change. Number 14 is the most important one on the list.

Until Next Time.....

Coach Skole